Frustration

I try to stay positive. I'm afraid this blog is going to be mostly complaining, however. Nothing is working. By the end of this week, I will have delivered work for two shows so far this season. A third show I was planning on participating in hasn't worked out. I just can't get anything to work. Painting is going too slow, I keep starting over, I just can't pull it together. It doesn't feel like creative block, exactly, I feel good about my concepts and when I begin a piece I have that burning flame deep within my belly, the excitement of creation unlike anything else. Half way in, however, I hate what I've done so far and begin again or abandon the project.

On top of being stuck in artistic molasses, our apartment was sprayed so I had to remove everything from our closets and cupboards and pull everything away from the walls. I should be putting all that we own back in its place as I write, but I just don't seem to have it in me right now. There's doctor's appointments, social obligations, and daily chores and errands, as there is with everyone in the world. The socializing usually gets put on the back burner because it's a non-essential, but I'm changing my attitude about that. Networking has gotten me twice as far as I could have alone, and I truly believe you get out of life what you put into it. I need to nurture my relationships, meet new people, and on occasion, enjoy myself. So, tonight, I will attend my film making friend's zombie makeup party, and tomorrow night I will go to the monthly artists' night at another friend's home. It's all good stuff, but add it all up and it equals maybe an hour or two to paint a day, and I can't get very far that way.

I think maybe I feel a little better just for having written this. Sometimes I know how to deal with a situation, but until I talk it out or write it down, I don't realize it. Something about putting it all into words. I'm still very frustrated by the mountain of work ahead of me, but I've scaled, moved, and sometimes blown mountains to smitherines, so I know I can do it.

"Season's Greetings", painted wooden plate

What I'm working on: I call them non-traditional holiday accent pieces. I am so not into pretty Christmas decorations, so I'm creating a series of painted plates, small canvases, and ornaments for the hipster set. Inspired by Day of the Dead sugar skulls, there's gingerbread men skeletons, a human skull with a santa hat, and candy canes for cross bones. They're bright and colorful, and although they're not for everyone, I can't think of anything more festive. I love bones. I collect bones and use them in my work. Painting them is fun, it doesn't take a lot of thought, and I can play with the colors and patterns and still be reasonably sure that I'll be happy with the results.